Classik Fil
As his original place of birth is more uncertain than Blanca’s from Streetfighter, all that is known is that Classik Fil was found deep in the Sinharaja Forest by Sri Lankan bean farmers as an infant. Later, as a stowaway hidden inside a potato barrel, he set sail via a cargo ship headed for Mexico in the late 80′s. By 1995, a huge Nirvana fan at this point, C. Fil bought a heartshaped box, found his way into the United States, and hasn’t looked back.
The brainpower behind such things as the phrase ” it is what it is” and despite what Al Gore says; it was his idea to put the “please” on the “please pick up after your dog” signs. Classik Fil loves blondes, braces, and bobble head night at Dodger Stadium. More than just an innovator, he is a ballsy adrenaline junky, and cooks better than a Honduran refuge. As diverse as the music he listens to (everything from underground hip hop to Barney and Friends Vol. 7 Live from the Fillmore), C. Fil keeps busy by feeding his 2 goats, throwing lavish pool parties equipped with nacho bars and cooler floaties, is an avid hockey enthusiast, and smuggles spider monkeys accross international borders on the weekends.
A very influential man, he has Snoop Dogg and Kim Jong il on his speed dial. Classik Fil is responsible for maintaining and overseeing BNC site construction. As a founding member, he is the Methodman to the BNC Wu Tang Clan. How can you not like him, the man’s motto is, “Cash Rules Everything Around Me.”
Billy Walsh
The inspiration for the movie Beverly Hills Ninja, this barbarian is no great white hype; quite the contrary, he is realer than Evander Holyfield. Pink Floyd made a little known album in 1986 about the trials and tribulations of his short life entitled, The Brighter Side of the Moon is Still Sort of Dark. Unfortunately it was only certified plastic, so his dreams of living ghetto fabulous were short lived.
Billy was able to take what was left of his royalties, and set up a comfortable life for himself in Las Vegas where his passion and proven ability to pick winners immediately became apparent. Looking to get back in the lime light, Mr. Walsh took his fearless persona, and his D list celebrity status straight to the movie industry, where he was featured as a stunt double in movies such as Rad, They Live, Roots, and The Bodyguard. Just as he received his first big break, there was a severely unfortunate incident on the set of Tremors. While performing stunts for Kevin Bacon, Walsh was viciously attacked by one of the robotic aliens, slicing his thumb straight off (a talented young paramedic was able to sew it back on within minutes). That was the very moment Billy Walsh decided to pick up a camera and began filming.
His career started off slow, mostly shooting home videos for his friends and family. The best of his early works include Katie’s 3rd Birthday Party at Disneyland, and Bruce Meyers Funeral (what a soundtrack). He is now in control of audio/visual for BNC Productions, and gets better with every shoot. Billy Walsh has a technical skill mastered by his time living in the gutters of East L.A., and his steady hand provides action shots that put the Hidden Dragon franchise to shame. Walsh is known around BNC as the Indigenous Soldier.
Dr. Tad Pringle
When your dealing with Dr. Tad Pringle, your dealing with what People’s magazine has dubbed “The Truth.” More than a man, DTP is a verbal magician incitting laugh riots and intoxicating conversations from small islands off the coast of Madagascar to the eskimo infested hills of Anchorage. Some say that the ad campaign construde by Dos Equis about “The Most Interesting Man in the World” is actually a slight embelishment on Tad’s heroic life. John Wayne was quoted as saying, “Tad Pringle” when asked who he thought the most influential man in the world was.
Dr. Pringle is known as “The Prophet” to his friends and followers alike because of bold, nearly devine like predictions of earthquakes and other phenomena he has made over the years. Jesus of Nazareth and Jesse James are the only people that have been able to outmatch his carpentry and mechanical skills, and he remains the only person to be banished from Antarctica for melting the ice with his incandescent personality (possible the beginning of global warming). Dr. Pringle is a seasoned pool player, and reportedly has a euphoric aroma.
He is a master student skilled in many forms of Kung Fu and martial arts ranging from Tiger Style to Jeet Kune do, but prefers to kick it ocean side barbequing and sipping umbrellaless cocktails while listening to live music. Tad has led a blessed life, but has repeatedly been quoted as saying that his time with BNC has produced the fondest memories. Tad Pringle is the Bernie Taupin to the BNC Elton John. As TP always says, “Goodbye Norma Jean.”
Boone Logan
Born on the streets of Queens, NY, legend has it that Boone Logan is actually the long lost brother of Kevin James. The man goes by many an alias, but is as diverse as each one of these pseudonym’s. Beginning his career as a prop comic, he was soon muscled out of the industry by long time rival Carrot Top. Mr. Logan was not discouraged though, and would soon find a new path to follow. After being savagely beaten by a Portegeuse blackmarket borium dealer, he moved to the United Kingdom and began singing.
While touring in the U.K., Boone met up with a Sweedish producer, and begun a short stint as a backup singer for the band Ace of Base (F.y.i. Chuck Norris is the reason why Ace of Base saw the sign). On tour in the United States, Boone was slapped by the acting roach and decided to set up shop in where else but Hollywood, CA. It has been a long time coming, but with perseverance and more importantly ingenuity, Boone’s term as an internet sensatation has officially began.
More than just an amazing actor, Boone has acquired some not so minor accomplishments as well. As a mountain climber he has conquered Mt. Fuji and Rushmore, and as an expert spelunker, Boone has penetrated natural orifaces from Mexico City to Greece. When asked where he got the money to fund these lavish trips because he has no conceivable source of income, he replied simply, “shut the fuck up, next question.” He has taken his skill with props and transformed the extremely small screen with his character acting.
The man knows no boundries, and has an amazing ability to infiltrate the hearts of those around him through unforgettable satire that Sinatra would be proud to sing about. Boone Logan is known around the BNC office simply as, “The Talent.” He is the Sean Connery to the BNC James Bond Franchise.
Harold Potter
As obscure as his 11th toe, Harold Potter could sell buffalo jerky to a vegan wearing nothing but hemp and plastic beads on the corner of Haight and Ashbury. He has honed his monetary skills through numerous years thriving in corporate america, and gambling on street corners. Although not usually violent, but always up for a good time, he has ocassionaly been known to bust an Angry Pirate on unsuspecting woman after a long night of partying (no need to judge, he does provide transportation home for these unfortunate gals aged 18-20 via a limo, so it’s sort of a win win).
Fascinated with Japanese culture as well as the movies How Stella Got Her Groove Back and Big Trouble in Little China, Wes is on an endless quest to find a black Japanese girl with green eyes. He considers himself a global man, and although Mr. Potter works nearly 70 hours a week, he has begun to adopt his own religion in his spare time (which is catching on fast in middle Africa) by linking many prevolant ones together. Some examples of this are his specially spiked Kabbalah water (Liquid Potter), the dot that he rocks verociously on his forehead, and what is beyond that, is the “Triple Backflip Baptism” he has perfected and now performs on toddlers at various lakes throughout the Western United States.
His love of pistaccio nuts and fruit snacks brought him in touch with Classic Fil at an early age, while his love for ocupational commerce and entreupronorial abilities have enabled his reputation to explode like a champagne supernova in the sky, and that is why he was the obvious choice to head up BNC Sales and Marketing. Harold Potter is the Billy Mays to the BNC any product not sold in stores.